Trapped and screaming I long to be free. Finding the enemy that holds me back is a close as looking at me. I see what I do and am helpless at times to stop the insanity that comes from the void that is despair and hurt inside of me. Pain comes to me only when I breath. Past images flood my mind and make me run and hide. Thinking back I wonder what could I have done different not to end up how I am. What could I do? Carving my flesh in what others see as agony and yet to me there is no pain. Illusions from my brain. Cutting myself. My Art. Was a release for myself. To make the pain real and not just feelings from my past. Tried so many tactics to kill it all away. Scars fade and the pain stays. I can not forget the motto of mine, TMH? TMN! Can mean so many things. I haven't used that in so long. Yet like the pain and not the scars. It still remains to be true.
Friday, March 14, 2008
TMH? TMN!
Trapped and screaming I long to be free. Finding the enemy that holds me back is a close as looking at me. I see what I do and am helpless at times to stop the insanity that comes from the void that is despair and hurt inside of me. Pain comes to me only when I breath. Past images flood my mind and make me run and hide. Thinking back I wonder what could I have done different not to end up how I am. What could I do? Carving my flesh in what others see as agony and yet to me there is no pain. Illusions from my brain. Cutting myself. My Art. Was a release for myself. To make the pain real and not just feelings from my past. Tried so many tactics to kill it all away. Scars fade and the pain stays. I can not forget the motto of mine, TMH? TMN! Can mean so many things. I haven't used that in so long. Yet like the pain and not the scars. It still remains to be true.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
i like talking to you too...
its kinda nice to just talk about stuff and not worry about you really judging me, that is also why i even created this blog, for me to write down my feelings and my rants and etc and not have to worry about people that i know read them...
and since i enjoy talking to you, i really hope your not cutting yourself....i tried it a few times myself tooo....
I myself often think about wut i could have done to prevent all this...
all the what ifs...
gahh....i've spent time wif my ex 3 times dis week, i dunno why i cant get over her, i continue to have such strong feelings for her and etc, yet its my "backbone" and my "principle" for not getting back with her, cuz she hurt me bad and it's unforgivale. but yet deep down, i keep wishing things can change and me her can get back together....
it's been 2 years since we broke up, and i've stayed single since...
i guess its hard 4 me 2 move on, i'm just scared to commit and scared to fall inlove again, afraid that i'l get hurt again by da person i love....
sigh...i really dont know why i cant move on....
also i've seem to cant concentrate no more....like i cant focus and my marks are dropping but for some reason, i cant get my mind to do work and etc....like..its really fucked up....gah....
its late, gonna sleep it off
toodles!
Post a Comment